Being treated differently
Treated differently, or made to feel unsafe
You don’t have to prove it to call me. You only have to be able to say what happened.
Discrimination is being treated worse because of your race, sex, age, disability, religion, pregnancy or another protected trait. Harassment is when the comments or conduct become part of the job. Neither needs a slur or a smoking gun.
What matters is the pattern: who got the schedule, the raise, the warning, the benefit of the doubt, and who didn’t. I look for that pattern, and for what happened to you when you said something.
What I won’t do
I won’t tell you it’s hopeless to be kind, and I won’t tell you it’s a sure thing to keep you hooked. If the facts are thin, I’ll say so, and say what might help.
How it shows up
Passed over or paid less
The promotion, the raise or the better shifts keep going to someone else.
Comments or conduct that wouldn’t stop
Jokes, touching, messages or rumors you asked to end.
An accommodation refused
You asked for a change your doctor supports and got a no, or a write-up.
Pregnancy, leave and caregiving
The treatment changed when you told them you were expecting or needed time.
Write it down the same day
A short note made at the time is worth more than a long memory later.
Keep it somewhere that’s yours, not on a work device. Dates, places, who was there and the words used, as close as you can.
A good note has
The date and time
What was said or done, in the words used
Who saw or heard it
Whether you reported it, to whom, and what happened next
Questions about harassment
Should I report it to HR first?
It can help, and it can start a clock in your favor. But call me before you do if you can. How you word the report matters.
What if it’s a coworker, not my boss?
It can still be your employer’s problem, especially if you told someone with authority and nothing changed.
Do I have to quit?
No, and I’d usually ask you to wait before deciding. Leaving can change what you’re able to claim, so let’s talk it through first.
Something at work isn’t right?
Tell me what’s been happening and when. I’ll listen first and tell you what I think.